For Dad

I wrote this for my dad, for myself (therapeutic) and for anyone else who can relate.

It's been over 2 yrs since I learned my dad has Parkinson's Disease
This shocking diagnosis brought me to my knees
What would the future hold for my beloved dad?
Feelings flooded over me like hopeless, sad and mad
I immersed myself in research, grasping at straws
He could take this experimental drug but oh, it has some flaws
I looked for signs and new symptoms every time we'd visit
Is that a new tremor, dad? This one's new, isn't it?
But through his shaky hands and his shuffling gait
Something made me pause and say "Pam, just wait"
My dad is still my dad.
He thinks, he feels, he loves
He gives me great advice and cheers me when I'm bugged
And if there comes a time he can't communicate with me
I'll know just what he wants to say, for he is part of me
He may have an awful disease that makes us wait and see
But he's taught me how to deal with all of life's adversity
So here is my message to Parkinson's Disease
My dad will always be my dad
You can't take him from me!

I'm Back!

Ok bloggers, I'm back. I have been writing about the twins on Facebook and been very lazy on the blog. But now that I have an iPhone it is easier for me to update. Where to start? I read a wonderful article written by a mom called Dont Carpe Diem. It's about being honest and realistic that parenting is hard. I could relate to her anecdotals. Many times ppl have made comments such as "enjoy every moment, they grow up so fast." Every moment? Like the moment when Maddie was flailing on the floor bc she didn't get what she wanted?" or the moment Emma bit her cousin bc she was angry she took her toy? Or the moment when we are at the grocery check out and they are shoving packs of gum and chocolate bars in my face requesting we buy them. Followed by a bumper cars game with the shopping carts. Am I to enjoy these moments? The author shares my reaction and goes on to talk about the way time is measured. There is the Greek name chronos which measures actual time and then there is kairos which is almost when time stops. She goes on to give examples of the two types and says it has helped her notice things more and be appreciative. I have done the same. So at 6:30 when my girls are tired, whiny and fighting? I count down the minutes until bedtime. That's chronos. But when Emma crawls into my lap and I play with her hair and kiss her head and pay attention to how soft her hair is and her sweet Emma smell... When I look at Maddie's face and notice she looks like a little girl and not a toddler... Or when I notice the freckles on Maddie's cheeks and the way Emma likes to sit when she listens to a story? That's kairos. So just like the Huffington Post writer, I mark kairos time by saying it either allowed or in my head. My children sleeping after battling a tough illness? Kairos. Having them run into my arms when I pick them up from daycare? Kairos. Making them lunches? Chronos. Sneaking a note into their lunch telling them how much I love them? Kairos. So take some kairos moments every day!