Cheeky Monkeys

Naptime has been mostly smooth this summer, thank goodness. They do go the odd day without one, and we suffer for it later in the early evening hours when they have their meltdowns. So we obviously encourage naps, or at least quiet time when they are in their cribs. Today we were at a friends house in the morning for a playdate. Emma was loving it because the little girl had a treasure chest full of Princess outfits. Dresses, shoes, crowns and all of the accessories. She stayed in full Princess gear the entire visit and when it was time for us to go, she did not want to take it off. Major Meltdown! She wailed "want my princess dress" from Bayview and Eglinton to the 404. Not a pretty sight (or sound). She finally calmed down and we got home, had lunch, and it was upstairs for their naps. They were both visibly tired: yawning, rubbing their eyes, lying on the floor, whinning etc. so I thought for sure they would be asleep within a short period of time. I went and showered and when I came out could hear them talking. No problem, it had only been a few minutes. Well, they talked for an hour! Here is a sample of the conversations I could hear over the baby monitor:

Emma : I Ariel, you Sleeping Beauty

Maddie :No, I Ariel, you Urula (Ursula, the sea-witch from The Little Mermaid)

Emma (getting louder): I no Ursula, she mean, I Ariel, you Sleeping Beauty

Maddie: No! I Ariel

Emma: (close to tears): No I Ariel! You Sleeping Beauty or Jasmine!

You get the idea, and then I would hear "wop" which I know means something is being thrown out of the crib and either onto the floor, or into the opposite crib. So, I went upstairs and flung open the door. They were both standing upright, and Maddie had everything out of her crib and on the floor, including her dress! Yep, she stripped down to her diaper. Again. Emma had the sense to dive onto her stomach as soon as I came in, close her eyes and pretend to be asleep. Cheeky monkey. I told them to stop playing games, it was naptime. I piled all of Maddie's crib paraphenelia back into her crib from the floor. Her stuffed animals and soother were in Emma's crib, so they were obviously doing some sort of swap! Shortly after I did that they were quiet. It's now been 45 minutes and not a peep so I guess they finally fell asleep!

"She did it!"

John and I were busy with the hustle and bustle of things when we get home today. The girls were playing quietly (that should have been our first clue) in the living room. Maddie ran by me with a crayon in her hand. I thought to myself "that's strange, I don't remember putting crayons and paper out yesterday" and I wandered over to see what was going on. I said "Maddie, there is no paper, what are you colouring on?" to which she responded "the wall." I said "the wall?" as I ran over to investigate. Sure enough, there were scribbles on the wall below the window. I stared at Emma and Madison, who both had a crayon in their hands and said "who did this?" In unison they responded "she did!" Hysterical! Way to sell each other out! John and I were laughing uncontrollably. I said "who did it?" and Emma said "Maddie did it" and Maddie said "it Emma, it Emma." So John tried to use psychology on them and he said "wow, this one is nice, who did that?" to which tey both replied "I did it! dat me" It was hilarious and this write-up really doesn't do justice to how funny it actually was. We took it quite well, surprisingly. We weren't upset by it. I said "that's what kids do" and John said "the walls are white, we'll be painting anyway." But we reminded them that crayons are for paper only although I'm sure that's not nearly as much fun!

Cute Stories

The girls and I were getting ready to pick John up from work yesterday. I told them to get their shoes on. They can both put their crocs on themselves, and Emma can put her velcro Nike sandals on by herself. I asked them to wait for me by the door. I was getting some things together and I went out to the laundry room and Emma was waiting by the door to the garage. I said "where's Maddie?" and she said "I dunno. Maddie, where are you?" So I called out Madison's name and I heard her say "yes? I ovah here mama." She was halfway up the stairs. I said "Maddie, where are you going?" and she said "I go get daddy." So cute! She thought John was upstairs sleeping, because normally when I tell them we are going to get daddy, it's on the weekends when we go to wake him up. I said "Mads, we are going to get daddy at his work, in the car." She started laughing and laughing. It was so cute that she realized what she had done was so funny.

Emma was trying on her Happy Birthday princess tiara that she likes to wear these days. I told her that Mummy's birthday was coming up soon, in September. She said "mama's happy birthday?" I said "yep" and she said "we gonna have a princess party?" and I said "sure" and she said "you gonna eat happy birthday cake?" "of course" and she said "and I eat happy birthday cake too?" "yep" and she said "yahoo, I love mama happy birthday!"

We went to the indoor play gym the other day. The girls had a blast on the slide. Emma figured out how to climb up the slide. When she got to the top for the first time she waved her hands in the air and said "mum, I did it myself!" So Maddie tried it but she couldn't get past the middle. Emma went around and tried to push her bum up. It was so cute watching Emma try to push Maddie up the slide. Maddie just giggled and said "it swippewy" (it's slippery in case anyone missed that)! They dressed up in Princess costumes and Emma asked me to dance with her. A lady there said it was very precious to watch. She asked Emma what her name was and Emma said "I pwincess." The woman then asked if Princess had a name and Emma said "yes, pink."! So she was Princess Pink! We ate lunch there and they left without incident even though they were having a great time.

1-2-3 Magic seems to be working well. Today the girls had open cups with straws in them at dinner. They were drinking their water and they started to put their hands the cup. I said "don't put your hand in your cups, just drink with your straw." Emma continued putting her hand in and I said "Emma, that's one, if Mummy gets to three I will take your cup away". She pulled her hand out and a few minutes later I noticed she went to put her hand in again but then she quickly pulled it out. So far so good!

1-2-3 Magic is, well, Magic!

I have to say I am incredibly impressed with the 1-2-3 Magic technique for dealing with shall we call it annoying behaviour (whining, tantruming, arguing etc). The first day I started, Madison got 4 counts (each count going up to 3, giving the child 2 counts to stop the behaviour and on 3 the consequence is given). The first two "counts" she got to 3 so she got time-outs. The last two she stopped when I counted to 2 (so no need for a consequence). So, it is working! The funny thing was, when she started to whine, say "no" and was about to tantrum when I wouldn't let her drink my coffee, Emma said "Maddie, that's 1!" Poor Maddie now has her mummy and her sister counting her! I cannot complain about either of my girls, because in spite of Maddie and Emma's "feistiness" at times, they are both well-behaved kids. Emma hasn't been counted at all since we started, although I imagine her time will come!

Emma has been a bit off the last couple of days. I have asked her if she feels ok or if she feels sick. She says "I ok." Then a couple of days ago she said "mama, I want ice cream, that make me feel better." Ha ha. Nice try kid! We went to Whittamore's Farm on Saturday with our friends and their twin boys. The kids had a great time, they rode the wagon, played in a tree fort with a slide, jumped in a bouncing castle, built sand catles, rode tractors and chose fresh fruit and sweet corn. The following day, our friends Yenny and Steve came over with their 3-month-old baby Aiden. Aiden was sleeping in his infant carrier and when he woke up, my girls went and got every "boy" type toy that we own, and put it in his carrier. So poor Aiden, who is sitting quietly in his carseat, is burried in cars, trucks and trains! I asked why the girls were giving him the trains and trucks and Emma replied "cause he likes dem." Maddie kept patting him on the head and giving him his soother, even when he didn't want it.

Speaking of soothers, I brought up the subject of the girls giving theirs up the other day. Emma was looking for her soother and I said "one day soon, we are going to say bye-bye to soosie." She got very concerned and started frantically looking for it. I told them they were big girls, and big girls don't need soosie's. I then named all of the big kids they know and said that they don't use soothers (Tynen, Zoe, Lily, Kyle, Lee etc). Emma said "but I like soosie, I like it in my mouf." I didn't intend on taking them away at this point, I was just testing the waters to see what reaction I got. The goal is to get them off their bottles first which I think we will be stopping cold turkey in Sept. Yikes! My babies are growing up! They are at a funny stage, where there are so many things they want to do or that they can do but couldn't before, so they call themselves big girls. But when they want to be pampered and catered to, or they want us to do something for them, they will say "but mama, I'm your baby!" Works like a charm! I am a sucker for my babies!

Yesterday we went to a friend's house for a bbq and there were a ton of people there. Emma walked in and went right up to strangers and shook their hands! The grandma, who is the head of the family, said she was very impressed with how well behaved the girls were. Maddie was shy, but very polite. They both said "yes please" and "thank-you" throughout the night. When we were in the backyard I was spinning them around, taking turns with each daugther. After a few minutes I was tired, so I gave them a "last one" warning. They both said "again" and I said "no, mummy said last one, I am tired" and that was it. Not one of them fussed or whined about it. They just sat down on the picnic blanket with me and Maddie offered to feed me! I must have looked as tired as I felt! lol

Why can't kids come with instruction manuals?

Let me start by saying I haven't posted in awhile due to computer problems! Rogers is currently working on a trouble ticket as our internet connection is wonky to say the least. Many times I would post and then lose everything I had written. In order to save myself the frustration I just took a break. It seems to be ok today so far, we shall see...

Today's topic is discipline! Last night in the span of a half hour, both girls received time-outs. Emma hit me as she didn't like the fact that I told her no, she couldn't have a cookie 15 minutes before dinner. So off to time-out she went. After her 2.5 minutes on the time-out step, I asked her to appologize as she had hurt my feelings and I didn't like being hit as hitting is wrong. She refused so I told her she has to stay on the time-out step until she says sorry. I don't know how many minutes went by but she finally said - correction, she muttered "sowwy" through gritted teeth. My instincts told me something wasn't right, I thought to myself "why am I forcing her to say a sorry that she doesn't mean?" I pushed the thought away and a few minutes later John sent Maddie to time-out for throwing toys on the floor after he asked her not to. He kept her in time-out until she picked them up, which she didn't. So I went to my trusted parenting boards and asked what we should have done, as the forced, empty apology seemed, well, stupid in my opinion. I felt that I was teaching her it's ok to say something you don't mean as long as it gets you what you want, in this case, out of time-out. My dilemma is that I want to raise kind, compassionate and empathetic kids, but I don't want to force them to apologize if they don't mean it, the same as I don't want to force them to hug and kiss someone they don't want to, regardless of how cute it is. So, a few women on the "boards" (the parenting boards) who I really respect (I have been on these boards regularly for 2+ years) recommended a book called 1-2-3 Magic. I picked it up today and have already read most of it. It's brilliant and makes so much sense. The first thing that made me laugh, is they say to take the talking, reasoning and the emotion out of things when disciplining. I can't tell you how many lectures I have given my two-year-olds. The book calls this treating kids like little adults. As in after telling Emma that hitting hurt me feelings, and it's wrong to hit etc etc she would turn to me and say "gosh mom, I never thought about it that way thanks, it will never happen again." Not going to happen! And, when parents get emotional or angry, it just fuels the behaviour. Kids want to feel powerful since they are powerless in so many aspects of their lives, and getting a reaction from us does just that. Anyway, the discipline technique described in the book is very reasonable and involves a warning system, much like one I use in my classroom. I will read the rest of the book tonight and start applying it tomorrow.

Maddie is giving us the hardest time lately. She is stubborn, defiant and throws regular tantrums. Emma is a little less challenging at this stage and oddly enough, you can reason with her to a certain point. The book says if the reasoning works I can continue, but when it stops working, there is no point in reasoning as it just turns into arguements especially as they get older. I'll keep you posted, especially those of you who are new parents, because kids don't come with manuals!!!